The funniest jokes on the net

James Bond walks intoa bar and takes a seat next to an attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks down at his watch. The woman next to him asks, "Is your date running late?" "N…

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, �All lawyers are assholes!� He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge. Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, �T…

A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt. �Damn,� he says. �I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she�s gonna kill me.� �Not to worry,� says the bartender as he sticks …

15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile. 14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles. 13 - …

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days 61 days!" The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks…

Why did the blonde go up on top of the bar? Because the bartender said the drinks were on the house!!

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him." Two guys bet fifty dollars each …

What has 72 arms and 36 heads an has an I.Q. of 12? A redneck bar on friday night

Why don't the members of Al Qaeda go out to bars? Because they can get bombed at home.

Two guys are drinking together, when one of them throws up all over himself. "Christ!" he says, "My wife ish going to kill me." His friend puts his arm around his shoulder and offers him 20 dollars.…