College jokes → Out Of College

You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes
anymore.

Your potted plants stay alive.

Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

You have to pay your own credit card bill.

You haven’t seen a soap opera in over a
year.

8:00 a.m. is not early.

You have to file your own taxes.

You hear your favorite song on the elevator
at work.

You’re not carded anymore.

You carry an umbrella.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of
hook-up and break-up.

You start watching the Weather Channel.

Jeans and baseball caps aren’t staples in
your wardrobe.

You can no longer take shots, and smoking
gives you a sinus attack.

You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

You go to parties that the police don’t
raid.

Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about
sex in front of you.

Your car insurance goes down, except when
you move to Jersey.

You refer to college students as kids.

You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead
of beer, bourbon, and rum. Well, some of us still drink rum.

You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
Taco Bell.

You’re waking up at 6 a.m. instead of going to
bed.

College sweatshirts are ‘casual’ instead of
dress up.

Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

Naps are no longer available between noon
and 6 p.m.

Dinner and a movie — the whole date instead
of the beginning of one.

You get your news from sources other than
USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter, and MTV News.

METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone’s and
Mad Dog.

You actually eat breakfast foods at
breakfast time.

Grocery lists actually contain relatively
healthy food.

When drinking, you say at least once per
night, “I just can’t put it down like I used to.”

Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

You decide your parents weren’t as dumb as
you thought!

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