Jokes-o-matic^.com

Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It's called, Sosumi.

Q: Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps? A: Because people could not tell which side to spit on.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives? A: Their personalities.

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor? A: No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

Q: What is the definition "lucky break?" A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat.

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.