Lawyer jokes
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Lawyers in the Trees
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
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The Lawyer's Funeral
A man is at his laywer's funeral and and is suprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. Why are you all at this man's funeral?
A man turns towards him and s…
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The Invention of the Copper Wire
Do you know how copper wire was invented?
Two lawyers fighting over a penny.
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Deathbed Lawyer
Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
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Lawyer Croaks
A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "I'm sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to…
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Defense Lawyer's Good News
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client.
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene."
"Dammit!" cries the client.…
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Burried 10 Feet Under
Why are lawyers buried 10 feet underground?
Because deep down, they're really not that bad!
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Leeches
What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?
The leech stops sucking you dry after you're dead.
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Lawyer vs. Hooker
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.
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Lawyers Off Bridge...
What do you call one lawyer thrown off a bridge into a river?
Pollution.
What do you call all the lawyers thrown off a bridge?
Solution.
