Men And Women jokes
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Men Are Like...
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
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License to Kill
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists � two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents too…
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A Husband's Moment of Realization
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he…
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Difference Between Men and Women
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the futur…
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Bigamy
What's the real punishment for bigamy?
More than one mother-in-law!
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Inseparable
Me and my wife are almost inseparable, why just last week it took four state troopers and a dog to tear us apart!
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Fire and Pimpin'
What did the pimp use to put out the fire?
His hos!
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Becoming a woman
One day Little Sally got her "monthly bleeding" for the first time in her life. Having failed to understand what was going on and being really frightened, she decided to share her trouble with little …
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Women's English
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to
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A blonde was out on a date. Her date said ...
A blonde was out on a date.
Her date said you have something on your cheek. So she wiped it off.
Then her date said, "No, the other side."
So she reached into her mouth and wiped the other side.