The funniest jokes on the net

Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth…

God, Jesus and John the Baptist are playing golf up in heaven. On the first tee, JB leads off and hits a big blast right down the gut; it rolls to a stop about 270 yards out, perfect lie. Jesus steps …

Old Mrs. Watkins awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by…

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselve…

Taoism: Shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Confusianism: Confucius says: shit happens Islam: If shit happens, take a hostag…

Q: Will I be reincarnated? A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And searching backup files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God will just say that the tape has …

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey e…

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell. Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door. The priest o…

There were these three guys at a football game and it just so happened that they were sitting behind three nuns. They couldn't see really well over their habits, so one of the guys says, "Man, I wish …