Sexuality jokes → Speaking Women-ese

WHAT WOMEN SAY & REALLY MEAN:

CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?

There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine,
again.

I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.

… without you in it.

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?

We haven’t had a fight in a while.

NO, PIZZA’S FINE.

… you cheap slob!

I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.

I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.

I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I can’t believe you have nothing planned.

COME HERE.

My puppy does this, too.

I LIKE YOU, BUT

I don’t like you.

OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.

… just not in that way.

YOU NEVER LISTEN.

You never listen.

WE’RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.

I’m not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.

I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.

I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.

OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF.

I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch.

OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!

Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.

I’M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.

We’re gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends.

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