The funniest jokes on the net

A sixty-four-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-two-year-old woman…

A guy was speeding down the road when suddenly he got pulled over. The cop came up to the window and said "Whats the hurry buddy?" The man calmly replied "Well officer i am late for work." The cop s…

The South Beach [Boys] Diet - Week 1 - Eat interesting and unique food nobody has heard of before. Week 2 - Take tons of drugs along with the food you were eating. Week 3 - Stop the diet. Week 4 - Sta…

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart em…

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wa…

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Q: What did the hobbit say to the elf? A: You better come and hide in the Shire before the geeks create a movie so they can spend late nights sitting around watching hours of video in costumes with h…

Two highschool girs are sitting in the one's bedroom and the one says to the other, "Come on we really need the car this is the biggest party of the year." The other girl says, "Yeah but you know what…

A boy and his mom were walking in the mall and see two kids making out. He asks "Mommy what are they doing?" his mom says "They're making cakes" "OK" says the boy The next day the same thing happens…

Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other? A: Nothing. They have never met.