The funniest jokes on the net

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,…

A doctor is walking down the street and sees a store sign that says BRAINS FOR SALE. So he walks in. He says, "How much is a doctor's brain?" The man says, "$100 bucks." The doctor says, "How muc…

A guy was smoking a cigarette. Another guy comes up to him and asks, "Do you have an extra cigarette?" The first guy looks at the box and reads that it contains20 cigarettes. He counts all the cig…

When the media does it, it's called "news coverage." When an individual does it, it's called "stalking."

A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side…

A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath. The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?" "That's my little red sports car," said the little boy. The little boy looked down and said…

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? �Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agree…

At a club, 50 Cent, Britney Spears, and JLO are all sitting in the VIP room. All of a sudden u hear a farting noise. 50 Cent, says, "Wasn't me", JLO denies it also. Finally Britney fesses up and says,…

What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nachocheese.

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The cop asked, "What's he like?" The little boy replied, "Beer and women with big t