Uncategorised jokes → Colemanballs: And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19

Colemanballs:

And here’s Moses Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago" (David Coleman)

“Once Tony Daley opens his legs you’ve got a problem” (Howard Wilkinson)

Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)

“We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite” (Murray Walker)

“After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: “We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought” (Bobby Robson)

“And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand” (David Coleman)

On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: “It was like being in a foreign country” (Ian Rush)

“Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand.” (Ted Lowe)

“Ah! Isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew” (Harry Carpenter)

Jimmy Hill: "Don’t sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: “I think it’s 50-50.”

“Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds – totally against the run of play” (Peter Lorenzo)

“We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised” (Ian McNail)

“I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat” (Ron Atkinson)

“I was in a no-win situation, so I’m glad that I won rather than lost” (Frank Bruno)

“There’s going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes.” (David Coleman)

“There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people” (David Coleman)

“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical” (Murray Walker)

“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel” (Stuart Pearce)

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father” (Greg Norman)

“We can’t tell you the result, but the winning goal from Niall Quinn was his 14th of the season.” (Jim Rosenthal)

“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious” (Alan Minter)

“Watch the time – it gives you an indication of how fast they are running” (Ron Pickering)

“Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers” (Murray Walker)

“Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales” (Ron Greenwood)

“A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin” (Jo Sheldon)

The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation" (Ron Pickering)

That’s inches away from being millimetre perfect" (Ted Lowe)

“Bobby Gould thinks I’m trying to stab him in the back. In fact I’m right behind him” (Stuart Pearson)

“I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right” (Marlon Starling)

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again” (Terry Venables)

“I can’t tell who’s leading – It’s either Oxford or Cambridge” (John Snagge – Boat Race)

“The Queen’s Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests – absolutely round.” (Tony Crozier)

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