Uncategorised jokes → Female Propaganda... A female computer consultant

Female Propaganda…

A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer and she asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass the female he told her to enter “PENIS”. Without blinking or saying a word she entered the password. She almost died laughing at the computer’s response :

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

Why do only some men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.

How does a man show he’s planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure.

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.

What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60? Four guys watching a rugby game.

What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.

What’s the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot’s been spotted several times.

Why did God create man before woman? Because you need a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilise one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder to Instruction Manuals.

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.

How many men does it take to change the toilet paper roll? Nobody knows – it’s never happened.

Why do men need instant re-plays on TV sports? They forgot what happened 30 seconds ago.

Where can you find a man who is truly committed? In a mental hospital.

Why are married women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.

What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being

What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds mature.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends.

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They are married.

Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God says: “So you would love her.” “But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?” God says: “So she would love you.”

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