Uncategorised jokes → Some definitions for you:- Air Buffet: A lingering

Some definitions for you:-

Air Buffet: A lingering gaseous meal, larger than an air biscuit.
Armbreaker: Particularly energetic wank.
Arse Spider: Tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it.
Audition the finger puppets: A single-act, one man show not suitable for children.
Autograph the gusset: To allow the turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants.
Bacon strips: External female genitalia.
Barnes Wallace: The type of turd that sends a splash of water onto your undercarriage after release from the bomb bay.
Beaded curtain: A luxuriant crop of clagnuts.
Beef box: A container into which sausages are put.
Benny Hill: Rhyming slang, female contraceptive.
Biffer: A particularly hairy minge.
Bilge tanks: “Double gut” effect caused by too tight a belt.
The blind dirt snake: A malodorous, legless lizard inhabiting cak canyon which migrates south every morning.
Brown Daisy: Unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies rather than bees.
Budgies tongue: Descriptive, the female erective bit!!
Bum Goblin:A gnarled malevolent turd that jumps out behind you casting a painful spell on your ringpiece!
Burma: Acronym, “Be upstairs ready my angel” See POLO.
POLO: Acronym “Panties off, legs open!”
B.V.H: Abbr, “Blue veined hooligan” A six inch tall, one eyed skinhead.
Chugnuts: Extremely large piles.
Cider Visor: Beer goggles for the younger drinker.
Clapping fish: Female genitalia.
Cliterature: One handed reading material.
Cockoholic: One who is addicted to cockahol.
Conkers deep: To be in a state of deep penetration.
Cough your filthy yoghurt: Romantic expression for ejaculation.
Crunchie: A sock worn the morning after being used as a wank-mop.
Dingleberry roast:Lighted farts.
Disco fanny:The full strength flavour achieved after 6 hours on a dance floor in PVC trousers.
Ditch Pig: Affectionate term for an ugly fat girl.
Dizzy Gillespie: A formidable blast from the spunk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrog’s.
Double basing: To have sex from behind while fiddling with the ladies left nipple with one hand and her budgies tongue with the other, a position similar to the one adopted for playing the double bass, though the sound is slightly different.
Drop fudge: Pinch a loaf, crimp one off, have a shit!
Drown some kittens: To drown a litter of small stools.
Eating sushi off a barber shop floor: Cunnulingus.
Face fannies: Sideburns.
Feeding the pony: One handed feeding of a lady’s toothless gibbon.
Fertle, ferkyfoodle: To feed a lady’s pony through her dung hampers.
Five pinter: A very ugly woman you would only chat-up after five pints.
Fizzy gravy: Rusty water, diahorrea.
FLAME: Abbr, Fanny like a mouses ear
Flat as a kippers dick:Descriptive of unleavened baps.
Free the tadpoles: To liberate the residents of ones wank tanks.
Fuckshitfuckshitsuckshit:The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Fud Slush:Scottish fanny batter usually smeared on the face when eating a haddock pastie.
Funbagtastic: Exclm, may be uttered when seeing a large pair of breasts.
Fuse-wire: A ginger persons gorilla salad.
Geetle: The little pointed bit that hangs outside your rusty sheriffs badge after you’ve had a Gladys.
Gladys: Rhyming slang, To defecate, from Gladys Knight.
Granny’s oysters: Elderly female genitalia.

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