Uncategorised jokes → Sports For Laughs "...and there is Ola Petrova from

Sports For Laughs

“…and there is Ola Petrova from Romania, I tip her as a future champion. I saw her snatch this morning, and it was magnificent..”
(David Coleman – Weightlifting commentator)

This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
Ted Walsh – Horse Racing Commentator)

He’s pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!"
Soccer commentator George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992

The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense."
(Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991)

I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body"
(Winston Bennett)

“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which
is identical” (Murray Walker)

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”
(Greg Norman)

“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious”
(Alan Minter)

The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball"
(John Francombe)

If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again"
(Terry Venables)

“I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.”
(Ron Atkinson)

“He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it – you can see it all over their faces.”
(Ron Atkinson)

Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
(Harry Carpenter – BBC TV Boat Race 1977)

I’m not sure who’s in the lead, but it’s either Oxford or Cambridge
(Harry Carpenter – Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race)

Morcelli has the four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres."
(David Coleman)

Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field."
(Metro Radio)

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
(Ron Atkinson)

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
(David Acfield)

What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?"
(Stuart Hall – Radio 5 live )

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"
(David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics")

One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. " Oh my God, what have I just said?"
(USTV commentator)

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