Uncategorised jokes → The following are warnings were printed on various

The following are warnings were printed on various products from around the world:

On a child’s superman costume – WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists – REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo – USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink – AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray – THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer – TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids – LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles – OPEN OTHER END.

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins – WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

On a Sears hairdryer – DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bag of Fritos – YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.

On a bar of Dial soap – DIRECTIONSUSE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) – DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

On a Korean kitchen knife – WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights – FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

On a Japanese food processor – NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE

On Sainsbury’s peanuts – WARNINGCONTAINS NUTS.

On a blanket from Taiwan – NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts – INSTRUCTIONSOPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

On a Swedish chainsaw – DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

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