The funniest jokes on the net

What do reggae bands and virgins have in common? They both have hymen!

There was an old man from Nantucket Who had a cock so long he could suck it He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "If my ear were a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

After the Iraq war there was a meeting of all the Saddam lookalikes. The chairman addressed the meeting saying the news was good , Saddam had survived the attacks, and that they were all still employe…

What did the thirsty whale do? Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would t…

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very…

Why did the monkey cross the road? So he could get spanked.

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.

There's this Amish girl and she tells her mom that her hands are cold. So her mom tells her to put them between her legs to get them warm. So she does and it surprisingly works. The next day, her A…

How many Branch Davidians can you fit in a car? It depends on how big your ashtray is!

Yo mama so ugly, she makes onions cry.