The funniest jokes on the net

Philosophy of Sex "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,wholesome things that … women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Steve Martin "Having sex is like playingbridge. If you don't have a good partner, yo … d." --W

eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually lke to have sex with you. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like t have sex with you. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to ave sex with

legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual rlations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like … lies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece … the pri

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when yu are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, … e second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have … m. The third ty

time we taught him about sex. Junior, get out here!". Junior runs out. 'Junior, I think … ime to teach you about sex." "Sex," says Junior. "What's sex?" "Well," Pa says. "Tae off yur clothes, Ma." So Ma … Pa are teaching me about sex."

3 Stages of Sex: 1. House Sex - When you are newly married and have sex all ver the house,in every room. 2. Bedroom Sex - Afteryou've been married for a while and you just have sexin the bedroom. 3. Hall Sex - After you've been married formany

omen (i.e.relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged … I know if I'm ready for sex? A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. W … hen it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, sin

, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no, and gets off the bus. The m … of a way for him to have sex with the nun. "Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 … uld convince her to have sex with you." The man decides to try

y your girlfriend during sex? A. Phone her. Q. Why do women fake orgasms? A. Because th … difference between oral sex and anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes you hole weak. Q. How many sxists does it take to chnge a lightbulb?

y attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not ov … eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually lik to have sex with you Would you like to dance? = I'd eventually l

e some amazing, athletic sex. Half an hour later, the man asks his wife if they can have sx again. They do, and it's even more vigourous and ferocious se. An hour later, the man asks his wife for sex again, and theyhave a ball-busting, rib-breaking r

ive up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answe … h another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagl … give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfe

legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual rlations with a male animal is punishable by death.     … lies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with cloth or piece of … a, a wom

ng his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather t … times a day. Later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you ge older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old,

rather upset because her sex life had really died. Mildred said that her sex life was grea. "The secret to great sex is this," Mildred cuseled Ethel. "When my Sammy is getting r … so excited we have wild sex the rest of the night!" Ethel says, "I'

rease with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner … asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Sperm is not only great-tasting, but has … r to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral

nd says, ''Will you have sex with me?'' Surprised by the question, the Noun answers,''No!' … can get the Nun to have sex with you.'' The Hippie asks how'. The bus driver tells him th … u can demand her to have sex with you. The Hippie, happy about h

beer. More cheese. More sex.Vitamin fortified cigars.Public beer fountains.Kitty catapult … beer. More cheese. More sex.Tomahawk missile surf boards.Hot tub jury boxes.Nacho cheese … beer. More cheese. More sex.Condoms that whistle, whir, and hon

ack replies, "I just had sex today!" Well this does not sit well with mom, she immediate … e has no business having sex! She tells him to go to his room and to wait for his dad to c … our mom tells me you had sex today?" "Yes," replies Jack sadly

Coma Sex There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices af … he bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her … him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the