Uncategorised jokes → Australians are well known to take the groom and go

Australians are well known to take the groom and go out for a really big night on the town before his wedding. Below are some amusing quotes taken from actual bucks nights…..

1)- We tied him up, put honey on his old boy and got the cow to lick it off. We didn’t know cows have such raspy tongues. It took the skin off. 2)- He was stripped, plastered with toothpaste and bootpolish and any other substance we could lay our hands on, and tied to the bus stop opposite his house. 3)- When the buck was totally sloshed, we stripped him and drove him out to the cow paddock. There was this cow, it had been dead for 3 days. We gutted it, it was all green and maggotty. We shoved him in the belly, pushed his right hand and arm out the arse, then sewed up the belly. We left him there to wake up! 4)- We covered his dick with superglue, but forgot it would also cover the hole. He couldn’t piss. We had to rush him to hospital for an emergency operation. He thought he was going to die. 5)- He was wandering disoriented and naked down the median strip, painted blue all over. 6)- “The buck was stripped naked and tied to the end of a boom gate at a railway crossing. A train was coming and the boom gate went up, with a naked buck tied to the end. He bounced about a lot.” 7)- It wasn’t good that the guys got me drunk as a monkey, stuck me in a packing crate, and sent me on the Ghan train to Alice Springs. Lucky there was a plane back on Saturday morning in time for the wedding

8)- He was tied spread-eagled on the wire fence at the drive-in cinema, totally starkers. The headlights of every car picked him out.

9)- We got him totally pissed, stripped him naked, and tied him up to the front bull bar of a semi-trailer truck. The look of sheer terror on his face as we shot at high speed down the highway in the dark was bloody hilarious.

10)- I got to the shed and the buck’s there, up to his chin in a 44 gallon drum of pig shit.

11)- They held me down and creamed my old boy with industrial grease. Didn’t know there were fine steel shavings in it.I discovered agony!

12)- They threw him in the fountain. One,two, three, heave!!!! He landed smack on his back. A huge sheet of water went up. Then he got a strange look on his face, and they saw the blood spreading everywhere. He had landed on a spiky water jet. It had impaled him. He was D.O.A."

13)- They tied him to the top of the car and went through the carwash. Nobody thought that he’d die.

14)- They put a ball and chain around his leg, it was 10kgs in weight and had to be carried everywhere, as he got more drunk the ball became more difficult to carry, he passed out in the park so drunk, they saved both eyebrows off to top it all off, the wedding was the next day.

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